Ina Malaya

My 11 year old son is very talented at drawing, and my husband and I thought of furthering his skills by enrolling him in art camp.  We had high hopes of having him bring home beautiful detailed paintings–after all, his pencil drawings at home were quite impressive – incredibly detailed, imaginative, and usually done from a 3-D perspective.  He came home the other day with multiple paintings and I thought they were still beautiful (and we told him so), but I was also shamefully and secretly  disappointed.  Upon close inspection, the beautiful intricate pencil-drawn details of a truck driving away from an exploding volcano, the planet Earth being hit by an asteroid, and a flashy sports car on a bridge were obscured by thick paint that bled into each other, and created muddy patches that took away from the splendor of his work.  The beautiful intricacy of his drawing lay buried under multiple layers of paint laid by clumsy and untrained brushstrokes.

While art and the controversial issue of abortion are topics that are unusually discussed together, the obscuring of my son’s drawing by unflattering colors literally painted a metaphor for the buried single truth in the muddied picture of abortion. This has been discussed and debated from political, religious and multiple empowerment advocacy standpoints that we are left with a messy, gray, and miserable painting of abortion, completely blind to or distracted from the basic truth of life in the womb.   Let us not even give it specific labels such as cells, embryo, fetus, baby, or child, given the potential “loaded” connotations associated with each of these terms.  But can we all agree that pregnancy represents life in the womb? After all, it wouldn’t be called a pregnancy if there wasn’t. Science dictates that an organism with its own unique set of genetic material with the capacity for growth, reproduction and functionality is indeed life. Life is life, no matter where it is in its stage of development, and to say otherwise is pure ignorance, outright denial or delusion.  There exists no truth more basic than this, and yet this is a scientific truth that we are either blind to, or choose to ignore, whenever we advocate for the choice of abortion.  Modern medicine prides itself and rightfully insists on basing health care, diagnosis, treatment and prognostication of disease on scientific, unbiased evidence, that it is incomprehensible how it has allowed core medical knowledge to be ignored, and for confounding bias to intrude on its objective ground. Stripping the act of abortion of politics, religion and other swirling colors of discombobulating bias reveals its basic nature.  Abortion is the intentional destruction of life.

Introspection of the issue of abortion requires shedding political labels of right or left, putting down alienating religious convictions or condemnations, and facing the downright basics. Ask any young child devoid of these biases about abortion – the willful removal of human life from the womb resulting in its death – and you will receive a definitive answer that it is wrong. If one feels uncomfortable asking a child about abortion, this just further validates the point; The situation is simply hypothetical (I am not suggesting that you talk to a 5 year old about abortion), but it is brought up to emphasize that willful ending of an innocent life will always be held to be wrong, if presented without bias. Humanity binds us all, and at the core of it, our innate moral compass points to the defense of life as its true north.

It is truly a myopic view to use abortion to solve a problem; Abortion is merely a symptom of a bigger problem. Resorting to destruction of innocent human life represents ultimate desperation of the human race, and is simply a symptom of the multiple festering illnesses of our society. Rejection of scientific truth, distortion of basic morality, and justification of taking the life of our own indicate overwhelming social and cultural disease that needs to be treated. We need to rethink abortion. We need to protect our own and attack what truly threatens us and our humanity.

We can pile on thicker paint in an attempt to beautify the art of abortion. We can only pile it on so thick. The advancement of healthcare and our society as a whole cannot proceed for as long as we deny basic truths. the question is: Wherein truly lies our fight? The battleground has become bloody and we have lost sight of our real cause.

There is no call for judgment, there is only a call to see truth. Truth is unchanging. It can be obscured, attacked and denied, but it remains the same and eternal. We all deserve to see it, as this is the only suitable foundation for genuine empowerment. The truth of life is in the heart of humanity, but protection of life is what defines humanity.

I have tossed and turned for many nights about what I am about to say. I have cried about this and currently I am chewing on a piece of Zantac as I gather the courage to say something about a matter so personal, controversial, complicated, yet simple at its very core.

Abortion. There, I said it. The Zantac has reached my stomach and right now I am feeling it help my reflux and my resolve to proceed and just let the words roll out.  This is a storm in my heart that cannot be calmed, whatever I do.

I was “mostly” pro-choice about this matter until a few years ago. I have changed my mind about this issue several times, and thought about it from different standpoints – religious, scientific, political, etc.  I permanently changed my mind when I came across of an article that talked about a woman in college who murdered her baby right after giving birth in her dorm room. I thought to myself, if she actually had an abortion several weeks before delivery, she wouldn’t have been convicted of murder. Then a question naturally followed this – well, where then lies the difference? The baby was still a baby a few weeks ago. When did it become a baby? At 8 weeks? 12 weeks? 20 weeks? Because I could not come up with a transition point for when a fetus, embryo or a ball of cells became a baby, I came up with a simple realization that it was a baby ever since a sperm and and an egg united. Yes, really, it all boils down to that. It –no, he or she — was a human being from the get go.  Would I protect a human life if I could? You bet I would, and at the core of every human being reading this right now, I know he or she would too. So, why do people make this heart wrenching choice?

The list for why people resort to abortion is long.  During an abortion, there are at least two victims–the mother and the child. The mother is forced to make a terrible decision because of cultural pressure – shame, insecurity, and fear of how a baby can change her life. Many women also equate the ability to obtain abortion with women empowerment. Women have the right to do anything with their bodies. Women have been undervalued, and at times demeaned, and mistreated for hundreds of years, and it is no wonder that we are asserting our rights. Woman empowerment is a great thing, but what complicates this unique situation is that there is another human being involved who is intimately related, albeit innately separate from its “host”.  What makes us human is our ability to care for and protect one another. If you are human and you stand for humanity, would you kill another human being?  Why is it so difficult to see the obvious–a human being growing inside its mother’s womb? It is painful to realize that society has pressured women in doing the unthinkable, and has supported a choice that always ends in guilt, regret, and more shame, no matter what the woman says.  The deed is so simple that there is no mistaking it for what it really is — taking the life of a child, a child who could not speak, who told the world he or she wanted to live only by growing bigger everyday.  There is no hiding this fact, and my heart aches terribly, not only for the child, but also for the mother who sacrificed her heart, soul, body, and her child, to do what she thought would make her more acceptable to society, or to herself, which society also dictated.

What does it mean to be a woman? What is woman empowerment? Among the multiple amazing attributes that women have, is the ability to bear a child, protect it, and raise it to be a good citizen of the world. This is our amazing power. The power to choose the more difficult choice, no matter what the terrible circumstances, which is to protect a life growing inside of us and give it the opportunity to flourish and contribute to this world.  A woman protects, nurtures, and endures because this is what we are. To endure is not to suffer. To endure is to be strong in the face of wrong, pressure, and adversity.  This is true womanhood and genuine woman empowerment.

I write this piece not to put down the victims of abortion or to make anybody feel guilty.  Your fears that drove your decision resonate with me, as I am a woman too and I am for you. I write this because of what is more important, which is what can still be changed, which is the future. While no one can change what has already happened, the death of millions of unborn children, I want to be the voice of those who don’t – the unborn, and the women who do not know their own immense power.  What a wonderful vessel you have, a womb from which the strong and magnificent men and women of this world arise.  If you are a woman reading this right now and are at a crossroad about keeping your pregnancy, please always choose life.  There will be pain with either choice, but in choosing life, you celebrate your womanhood, you stand up for humanity, and you allow the beginning of new hope, as this is innate in life and love of life. In choosing life, you stand in defiance of the mold that society has shaped for you. In choosing life, you put the life of an innocent human being before yours, a noble deed that echoes through humanity, generation after generation.

Women, let us empower ourselves in a new light. We are the leaders in this cause. Men, support our cause, and help us protect our children. Together, let us find ways to abolish stigma that drives a culture of abortion.  Let us support and uphold responsible sexual health. Let us strive for a culture that views pregnancy and delivery as a given, and not an option. Let us always fight for life that gives hope, and reject death that only ends in suffering.

Here is my youngest son’s ultrasound picture at 20 weeks and a photograph of him at three years old. Proof that he was human then and now.  Yes, kiddo, smile for the sake of humanity.  Thanks for making me a mommy and lending your boyish grin for this cause.  🙂